I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
