physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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