well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
