so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
