Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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