He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize