I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
