Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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