so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dicks are not precious.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
