yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
