She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
