WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
