As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
