I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to make a zoo with you.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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