You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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