we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
