just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
