I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
