the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize