i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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