I want to stick my p in your. b.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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