Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
