I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
