I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
