flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
