I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
