so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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