it's great music for shaving your balls
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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