i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
