bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
