my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
