was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
