It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
