pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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