you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
