Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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