when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
