This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sext me about skeletons
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
