she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
