Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
