I didn't shave. On purpose
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
