this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize