What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize