cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
