Cold hands, warm shart.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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