You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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