You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
