There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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