I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
