It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize