Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
