Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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