Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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