Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
