I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
