Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
