I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
